On ‘She Slept Her Way To The Top’

Thank Sanjay Gupta for this refresher-and stand in solidarity with Priyanka Chaturvedi

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She slept her way to the top is a sexual slur. Or more accurately, sexual harassment that falls within the ambit of “making sexually-coloured remarks”. But so many people—mostly men but some women too—get away with using this age-old tedious and predictable line.

Ask any successful woman you know. When confronted with a successful woman, many people get angry and resentful. How dare she get what I don’t have? I deserve that more than her. #NotAllMen still don't know how to work under a woman boss, and an entire industry of ‘typical’ female boss imagery was conjured up that portrayed a successful woman as a bitch. Successful men, of course, are only called leaders.

‘Slept her way to the top’ is just a lazy but effective way to objectify and demean women, simultaneously ignoring the horrific reality of male leaders who demand sexual favours in return for promotions/opportunities. We got sweet spot seats to this global phenomenon thanks to the #MeToo movement and its chief villain Harvey Weinstein, who sexually harassed many women at casting meetings.

I’m writing this because Sanjay Gupta, former political party spokesman, said in a television interview that Shiv Sena Rajya Sabha MP Priyanka Chaturvedi’s influence “reaches to the bedroom".

He said lots of other tedious things too, but I’ll leave it to you to find and watch the video where two men are discussing a successful woman’s character. Chaturvedi has written a complaint to Mumbai Police and is waiting for them to act.

The other side of this inequality at the workplace? To avoid this unwanted ‘attention’ women are taught to be low-key, not stand out, merge with the furniture. To not state opinions that contradict their colleagues, to willingly do extra work to get ahead, to constantly question themselves, and not others. To be gentle and smiling always, even when experiencing rage. To not “overreact” when someone accuses them of sleeping their way to the top.

We lose opportunities too. I once refused a high profile job at a newspaper run mainly by older, conservative men because I couldn’t bear the trauma I was guaranteed to face when trying to change their outdated, entrenched systems.

When Gloria Steinem was asked how she felt about women using their sex appeal to advance their careers, her reply was prompt: If women could sleep their way to the top, there would be a lot more women at the top. It’s a little flippant, but maybe that’s the only way to answer such asinine questions in a single sentence.

Donald Trump and his band of toxic bandicoots flung many such slurs at competitor Kamala Harris during the US Presidential campaign. Trump shared a screenshot with his millions of followers showing a photo of Harris with Hillary Clinton. Below the image, a person had written, “Funny how blowjobs impacted both of their careers differently.” Trump shared another video that suggested Harris had slept her way to the top or “spent her whole damn life down on her knees”.

The image of a woman on her knees makes even the most inadequate of #notallmen feel powerful.

I wish I could pin all the blame on men. Just yesterday a 27-year-old friend called me upset. After a recent promotion, she had a confrontation with a frustrated female colleague who had been spreading rumours that she had slept her way to this job.

Chaturvedi’s stance is bound to enrage the patriarchy further. Prepare for ‘but why did she’ or ‘didn’t she know’ style commentary in the days to come. Meanwhile, I would urge you to stand up for her right to work without being harassed, no matter what your political preference may be.